culpepper park apartments, spice district, 12:52pm
realtor: now this unit has a stove and a fridge. beautiful view of the pier and right by the water. plus this is an up and coming area.
jordan: (looks dilapidated kitchen and dated wallpaper) it’s sorta needs work.
realtor: yeah, we’ll be um, repainting and replacing the kitchen when you sign the lease.
jordan: um, does that clown painting come with this place or..
realtor: (looks down) um, FULL DISCLOSURE, i have to tell you that this place has a uh, history
jordan: (deep sigh) here we go
realtor: well, this happened years ago so not a huge deal but the last tenant was a uh bartender but not particularly good at his job. i guess one of the parties he worked at got to him, and he KINDA snapped and KINDA went on a murderous rampage. police found him here, covered in blood, muttering about how this painting he bought at a yard sale was “bringing him down, following him, telling him what to do” and uh, it was a mess.
jordan: (stunned) how do you KINDA go on a murderous rampage?
realtor: i mean, that’s what was told to me. i’ll go grab the lease so you can look it over.
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