CLJK consulting, san myshuno, 3:45pm
russ: since we’re in a sharing mood,i’m curious, how did you get this all down to a science.
carson: in my line of work, i’ve heard
complaints about husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, mistresses,
coworkers, lovers etc and i sorta try to um (pauses) selectively absorb all of these gripes and try not to do those things.
russ: your job gives you an intimate look into all that..
carson:
it’s not just finding nice outfits for people. i gotta spend time
trying to get to know them. finding out what makes them tick, what looks
best, what works best for the occasion, what makes them happy and what
makes them comfortable. a lot of that requires asking a lot of
questions, observing, and listening. and while doing all of that,
sometimes i have to give advice. like what i’m doing with you here.
let’s see how that one looks.
russ comes out
russ: i don’t think sea foam green suits me.
carson: don’t listen to yourself. it suits you. put that in the ‘yes’ rack. try the other one i got in there.
russ goes into the dressing room.
russ: so don’t take this the wrong way but if you’re this attentive and observant….why aren’t you in a relationship? the rotation has to get depressing after a while…
carson: (pauses) you can date around and still be happy, dude.
russ: i guess.
carson:
i want to see what people have to offer before i get stuck on someone. i
can date the way i do is because i have zero expectations.
russ: zero expectations doesn’t sound as good as you think it does.
russ comes out
russ: (hesistant) i’m showing a bit more skin that i’m comfortable with.
carson: not enough in my opinion (smirks) you’re not stylish enough for this anyways. try the long sleeve one for me?
russ walks back into the dressing room
carson: not
like, zero expectations in the person. zero expectations as to what the
date can be. we can end up sleeping together or not. we can end up
friends or enemies. i’m fine with it either way.
russ: you don’t have the urge to just be with one person? that type of inconsistency would make me ill.
carson:
hmm. yeah i get that urge (looks down) but it doesn’t stay long. i like
dating around bc honestly i just like the company. i don’t really like
being alone and if it wasn’t for dating or band stuff, i wouldn’t get to
do half the stuff i end up doing.
russ: are you still seeing that wrestling instructor?
carson: (smiles
devilishly) no, she moved back to oasis springs…that was fun though. i got to learn some fun techniques i never would have
never sought out. doing stuff you wouldn’t normally do is exciting.
doing it with another person is even more thrilling. i know you nerds
think i have “odd tastes” but dating locals is really fun. be it going to a museum. a tgifridays. a boring conference, yoga retreat, camping,
trivia nights. it’s all fine because i can sit next to someone, and
watch them light up with excitement over those things i may not like or
understand. it’s kinda nice. like free cable
tv tbqh.
russ comes out
russ: this is some really sincere stuff coming from you but with all due respect, you sound like a serial killer.
carson: (depressed sigh) you’re not the first person to tell me that.
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