neal’s conveniently located walk up, spice district, 1:11pm

yuki: (aggravated) you live in a major city where you could date ANY girl you want. but that’s the one you end up with? (lowers voice) when he eventually finds out he is going to –

marz: (sighs) flip out. yell at me a lot. RKO me in the living room. possibly kick me out, leaving me homeless. after that, i’ll be pretty much shunned by our entire friend group. the news will eventually drift over to jaime’s brother. he’ll definitely be weirded out and upset that his best customer and friend has been secretly plowing his sister. (mutters) probably have to find a new weed man and that’s an annoying process –

yuki: (interjects) his twin sister. so there’s a whole delicious layer we have yet to unpack –

marz stares at her with a pleading look

yuki: did i make it weird?

marz: a little…

yuki: i’m just saying! they REALLY look alike!

marz: i’m gonna try to block out that little brain worm. (sighs) maybe all this will finally give me the push i need to get out of this city and move somewhere else. i just don’t want to go back to the suburbs.

yuki: yeah. you’ll def go out with a bang. just so you know, to keep up appearances, i’ll have to socially abandon you but like, still talk to you on the low for stuff like this.

marz gives her an annoyed look

yuki: i’m just being honest! i’m not learning a new skillset to sell ass on the internet.

marz: (sarcastic) i thank you for your business.

yuki: i’m a job creator. at least you’re doing something with your degree. (pauses) wait, when did all this start?

marz: right after that first big fight. and it continued when they got back together until she um, ended it. she obviously never told neal i was the other guy.

yuki: (shakes head) and you let everyone bad mouth and malign her when you were to blame? (looks down). i know i’m an amoral kleptomaniac but you, sir, are a piece of shit (laughs)

marz: i didn’t set out to do this. (sighs) it just…happened. like, any time i’d go over to shawn’s place to buy weed, she used to just unloaded all her problems with neal. he’s a good guy but absolutely frustrating to date. jaime is…

he pauses and looks down

marz: – a girl that needs constant attention. she used to complain that she felt neglected and neal didn’t help anything bc you know when he’s focused on anything, no one can penetrate that bubble. neither of them are bad here but just…not compatible.

yuki: (smirks) she knew what she was getting into.

marz: i don’t think she did. i told her she needed to do something to push him to get his attention. unfortunately that something she did was me.

yuki: (laughs) wow…i mean outstanding, marz.

marz: since then we’ve been seeing each other and i…i really want to be public with her but um, there is the delicate matter of telling neal. i really don’t want to hurt him.

yuki: but you were ok with jaime being hurt? like, ok with everyone badmouthing her?

marz: i wasn’t ok with it. i–did come to her defense

yuki: (scoffs) yeah right! you just ignored it, didn’t stand up for her, and let her deal with it all alone. no one really talks to her anymore bc everyone feels so bad for neal. like, yeah she cheated but (looks away)  i don’t think any of us should have been involved to the degree that we were. like, we’re adults. (pauses) some of us are. (shakes head) and during all this you’re still worried about the feelings of everyone you’re not even dating.

he opens his mouth to protest but…

yuki: why do men worry about hurting one another vs the women they’re in relationships with?

marz; he’s my best friend. and technically my landlord so you can understand why i’m trying to tread lightly

yuki: understood. but if you care about her enough to want to be serious with her? grow a spine, tell neal everything, and go public. take whatever comes.

marz sighs heavily

yuki: hmm, you can keep sighing but you know i’m right. full disclosure is probably for the best! you’re gonna end up waiting and this’ll be some messy blowout that i’m going to be able to hear from next door.

marz: i need to worry about finding a new place to live first before even thinking of doing anything. plus, i don’t even think it’s worth saying anything. neal’s probably going to be moving soon. but…weirdly enough, he’s inviting a girl he met to our game of llamas viewing tonight…

yuki: oh???? two juicy bits of gossip in one day!? who is she?!