somewhere in the spice district, 7:47pm
after 50 eleven years the longest hiatus ever, karlie is off to her date with sauerkraut and mitzi is off to watch game of llamas with neal and co. usually, the thrill of meeting new people would make most people excited. however, mitzi is having a severe case of “the vibes were right then, but now i don’ t want to go”…
karlie: this is not the face of someone who said they wanted to (fingerquotes) “meet new people” (fingerquotes) and make (fingerquotes)“new friends”(fingerquotes) …
mitzi slowly looks up with a pleading expression.
karlie: (sighs) you got something on your mind. come on, let’s hear it.
a relieved mitzi inhales slowly as she prepares to unload…
mitzi: (blurts out) owen said that this is a test. what if i make a complete ass out of myself? what if all of his friends hate me and it’s awkward the entire night? i can’t leave! i need to know what happens next. and we don’t have cable! i’d have to wait till tomorrow to watch it on some shady site with a billion popups. i’d have to dodge spoilers until tomorrow night and (through her teeth) gabe is not good about spoilers. (aggravated sigh) i am still upset about him ruining the end credit scene of [fill in marvel franchise movie here].
her eyes widen
mitzi: oh my god…w-what if there’s no food and i was expected to eat beforehand? i can’t be around new people with low blood sugar. (whimpers) what if it goes so badly that his family re-bans me from the donut shop? it’s fall…the pumpkin donut fest is upon us. (under her breath) ugh, there are only so many disguises and accents i can run through before they catch on…
karlie: (rolls eyes) you’re overthinking this. like i said, you’re gonna be f-,hold on, (raises eyebrows) we’re doing disguises and accents now?
mitzi: (terse) you’re not home all the time when i’m hungry. i have to be creative if i want to eat.
karlie shakes her head slowly
mitzi: (flustered) i’m just doing what i need to survive!
karlie: (nods slowly) r-right… anyways, you’ll be fine. the worst that can happen is…nothing. (shrugs) it goes south, you never have to see him or his friends again. this city is big enough where that sort of thing happens. it took months for me to run into ben. and that was purely a fluke.
she puts her arm around her
karlie: just be you. and try to have fun.
mitzi: (sighs) i’ll try but please keep your phone on.
karlie: i will but if this date goes well, (lewd smile) i might be horizontal and nowhere near a phone for the rest of the night.
they stop at the subway entrance
mitzi: (shakes head) this is modern dating, huh?
karlie: yeah, if you’re really good at it. now go run along and have some fun tonight.
mitzi: (sarcastically) yes mother.
karlie turns towards mitzi
karlie: (clicks tongue) you’re gonna have a great time tonight, mitzi. i know it!
karlie quickly heads down the stairs.
mitzi: (sighs) if you say so…
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