2b jasmine suites, spice district, 1:31pm
russ: anyways, why the hell are you even thinking about dating anyone right now; you just got dumped last week…
elliot: god, has it only been a week? seems like a year ago…
russ: feels like it the way nik is writing. don’t you need time to “process and heal”?
elliot: oh i do. and i did the math. in about 7 months, i’ll probably be ready for another serious relationship.
russ: you did the math? w-what math?
elliot: (sigh) ruffles, ruffles ruffles. i was in a relationship for 6 years. 6 times 12, that’s 72. divide that by 10, that’s 7.2 months. that’s an appropriate healing time for me but (shrugs) until then, i think i might want to have a tiny…um…(lowers voice) slutty phase.
russ looks at elliot surprised
elliot: i can’t sit in my room crying and masturbating for 7 months, man. i need to move on and get out there. i got to thinking…watching your date on thursday, coaching from the sidelines with carson, and um, watching you eat fast food french fries with a complete lunatic was actually…fun. even yesterday, singing and flirting with tabs…that was fun too. couldn’t do that with the spectre of rin hovering over me or texting me where i am or what i was doing. i..i want to experience…this kind of freedom to the fullest. i guess.
he looks up at russ
elliot: i-i’m not making it a lifestyle like carson. it’ll just be a phase.
russ: (flatly) i hope you don’t think that phase is going to include tabs or kei’s extremely hot ex. they’re 10s. you’re a modest 4 at best.
elliot: (hurt) wow. thanks man
russ: i’m not being mean. i’m being practical. i don’t believe in leagues but both of them are out of yours. besides, tabs is a dead end as she’s leaving town today and i think she’s got bigger things to worry about. doubt she wants to ever be in your rotation. i don’t even think she liked being in carson’s.
elliot: (smirks) you sure he wasn’t in hers?
russ: (exhales sharply and laughs) excellent point.
elliot: i guess i’ll sign up for simdr. speaking of which, have you talked to chair girl since that date? you gotta follow up…
russ: (exasperated sigh) but what would i say?
elliot: just message her with a hey had a great time. would like to do it again. even if she doesn’t message you back, it’s not a big deal. rejection isn’t the worst thing that can happen. you had a fun date. she gave you a kiss. didn’t work out. you just move on and find someone it does work out with.
russ: (shrugs) hmm. you sound like carson.
elliot: eh, stopped clock and all. (inhales) we gotta work on my simdr profile. let me get this ho phase out my system so when i do work up the guts to ask out tabs when she’s back in town, she won’t laugh in my face.
russ: she will. i think you should leave it alone. and work on your weird redhead fetish. there’s probably a doctor rosemary episode about this we can watch…
elliot: you’re right (smirks) buti think i have a shot
russ: you don’t. but go on. plead your case.
elliot: we get along great. we both love torturing carson. she’s an amazing musician and writing with her is really fun. (dreamily) the red hair is a plus..plus she’s tall but she’s 90% legs…i’ve never been with a tall girl before. i’d imagine cuddling her would be like climbing a really sexy tree…
russ stares at elliot blankly and struggles to find a proper response to…calling your band mate a sexy tree….
russ: (squints) man, you’re saying your weed thoughts out loud again and i-i’m too high to unpack all of what you just said…
elliot: (nods) yeah yeah…(quietly) please don’t tell her i said that.
russ nods slowly
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